Tonight was formal, and even though plans didn't work out exactly as I would have liked, I still had a blast. A friend of mine (a girl) went as my "date" and we joined my roommate and her boyfriend, and our neighbor and her friend that she went with freshman year when they were dating. The fact that I didn't have a real date gave me the excuse to dance with pretty much anyone I wanted, which was very nice.
Last year I didn't go to formal, because the guy I was dating at the time didn't want to go, and I have regretted it ever since. So this year, I was going no matter what. I am so glad I did. I had a beautiful red dress (I might post the pic) and I must say, I think I looked hott. I had a blast.
I was especially glad to dance with one of friends, a guy who I have math with. He's younger than I am, but I'm getting to the place in my life where I'm beginning to give up on the whole age issue. Honestly in a few years time, it won't matter, so why should it matter so much now? But back to the story. I'm kinda interested. I don't know if I'm totally interested, or if I'm just vaguely interested. He's a nice guy, an extremely nice guy, and he's in tune with God and how a girl should be treated. He's sweet and kind, if you couldn't already tell. And he makes me laugh. Plus he's taller than I am, even when I'm in heels, which works out pretty well. But I'm afraid that because of the age thing, and that I don't think he's interested like that, I'm hesitant to say anything.
I mean, I help him a lot in math (I guess I could be called his tutor) and we don't really hang out with the same people, though we do have mutual acquaintances. I don't know! All I know is that I have to work on finishing school. Granted I'm going to take a year off between undergrad and grad school, but I need to finish the undergrad first. I have a year left, what's the point of getting into anything when I only have a year left.
Besides, we live on two totally different sides of the United States. And am I really ready to get into something right now? People are still talking about all the Travis crap. Just talking about it kind of annoys me, but there's not much I can do about it. Just wait for it to pass over.
A friend of mine mentioned about it being awkward if Travis was at the dance tonight. I said the only person who would make it awkward would be him. That I was over it already. He looked at me strangely, but didn't say anything more about it. I just don't understand what's so hard to believe about that. I just wish people would stop talking about it and would just let it fall into oblivion like I want it to.
I don't know... this is what's going on in my life right now. These are the stupid things I worry about deep down inside. It's just that when this guy hugged me tonight, after we shared a dance, it kinda felt right. And before I walked away, he squeezed my hands, and looked into my eyes. Maybe I'm just looking for someone to be with, because I didn't quite get the warm guitar feeling. I guess for right now I'm just going to go with the flow. I am happy being single, don't get me wrong. But there are times, especially around holidays, or dances, or spring when you see all the couples, and it's just shoved in your face. It makes being single a little harder.
Alright, it's almost 2 in the morning, and I am exhausted. So here I am... signing off.
~Vix~
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