Carpe Diem

No, it's doesn't mean seize the carp... it means seize the day. And it's a wonderful saying to go by. Each day should be a new adventure that we should grab up and take with us.

I was watching Dead Poets Society today, and this comes up early in the movie. Todd is seen contemplating this and moments later writes the English "Seize The Day" in capital letters across the page of a notebook. He stares at it, looks at the pile of textbooks next to him and sighs, ripping the page out and crumpling it up.

I know how he felt right at that moment. I want to seize the day, I want to go out and have an adventure and do something unexpected and memorable, something that might change my life (and maybe the lives of others). The only problem is that I turn around to walk out the door and see my list of things to do, I see those textbooks piled next to me and I sigh and sit back down. I hate it! I want to do something, I want to be out there, I want to go against the tide. But I can't, I have so much crap to do for school, just so that I can attain that goal of a diploma and a future of a masters program and maybe one day even my doctorate. I've been spending every afternoon and evening sitting around doing homework, reading articles and writing papers and I don't have time for anything else.

It hurts, and it makes me sad, but there's nothing I can do to change it. I know my fellow psych majors are in the same boat, as well as a few other friends, but it doesn't make it any less bearable. My dream has turned into something that is harder than I thought it was ever going to be, but the rewards at the end will be worth it (I keep telling myself that, anyways. I can always hope).

Okay, it's late, my brain is fried, and I need sleep.
~Vix~